Life Update: We Had a Baby!

Temperatures are finally cooling down, the leaves are changing and fall is here! This fall looks a little different for us as we are now a family of three!! Surprise! We had a baby!! At the beginning of the year my husband and I found out that we were expecting life’s biggest blessing, a baby. All my life I have wanted to be a mom and my husband and I have been dreaming of expanding our family for awhile now so we were thrilled, a little nervous, but overall very excited. Finding out that we were pregnant jump started some big changes in our life from moving closer to family to intensive birth prep it all started right away in 2024. Here I’ll share highlights from each trimester as well as a brief summary of our birth story. Keep in mind that this is my personal story that I’m excited to share it with you but overall, birth is beautiful no matter what choices you make on your own journey. Each stage of pregnancy brought new feelings and challenges that truly shaped me as I was transformed from maiden to mother and having the opportunity to share the journey here with you is deeply personal making it a little nerve racking but cathartic and helpful for my own processing all at the same time.

The First Trimester

Finding out we were pregnant came with a whirlwind of emotions, affirming and terrifying all at the same time! Truthfully, it took awhile to sink in and my husband and I were leaving five days later after finding out for our honeymoon in Mexico. We decided to keep the news to ourselves and determined that we would tell family once we returned. Having the week away with each other was such a beautiful gift and allowed us to celebrate together the blessing to come that would change our lives forever. Sharing the news with our family was a huge highlight for us and got us even more excited as we saw the pure joy in our loved ones faces as they discovered the news.

On the flip side the first trimester was challenging physically and emotionally as I experienced exhaustion like I’ve never experienced before. My husband was a huge help during this stage and took care of our home all while keeping me nourished while I slept pretty much anytime I was home. Thankfully, I only experienced a few waves of nausea and morning sickness and I attribute this to the high protein diet I was eating. Whenever I wasn’t sleeping, I was brushing up on my notes from my doula training that I had completed several years earlier. I also began reading Real Food For Pregnancy, which certainly shaped how I ate during my pregnancy and was a great resource during this time. I also read Nine Golden Months, which I felt was a quick and easy read to help get you in a good mental space when it comes to pregnancy and preparing for birth.

During the first couple of months we were focused on finding care that we felt aligned with as well as seeking out additional support for our care teams. I decided to pursue an unmedicated birth which I knew would require a lot of mental preparation so I enrolled in an online birth course, re-read Ina Mae’s Guide to Childbirth, and started listening to podcasts sharing positive birth stories. One of the biggest hurdles I felt I would face during birth would be the fear that comes along with pain so I also created birth affirmation cards along with some encouraging scripture cards that I would recite and meditate on each night before bed. When I found out I was pregnant I knew that it would be hard for me to find care that I was comfortable with at a hospital due to some past trauma that I’m still working through. This lead me to book our first appointments at a smaller clinic but after my first appointment I felt like it still wasn’t where I needed to be so we did some research and found a local birth center. We attended their online orientation and I immediately felt at ease so we decided to transfer our care to their team of midwives and loved the experience of the first few appointments.

The Second Trimester

Before I knew it we were entering the second trimester and I was beginning to see changes in my body physically. My baby bump was more prevalent and my clothes started to fit differently. Truthfully, I was nervous at this point that I would have a hard time watching my body change as I had struggled with body image issues in the past but this felt completely different to me. Instead of feeling out of control as my body changed, I felt a sense of pride that I was growing and sustaining life. This mindset shift motivated me to keep active with walks and kettle bells as well as continuing to focus on my diet to ensure I was consuming adequate protein, water, and a variety of different nutrients. At this time I started to document my physical transformation and journal about the changes I felt emotionally in a book I was gifted from my sister-in-law called The Bump. I also had a lot of fun at this stage thrifting for baby clothes! We had decided long ago that we weren’t going to find out the gender of our baby so I stuck with neutral colors and did my best to source natural fibers like cotton, linen, and denim. If you’re expecting I would highly recommend checking out thrift stores as I found so many cute baby clothes for $1-$2 each vs. the $12-$24 prices you see on brand new clothes!

It was wild to me how as soon as I hit 13 weeks my energy seemed to come right back! I felt alive and rejuvenated again which was very exciting! At this point my husband and I had started house hunting which was an added roller coaster of emotions as we searched for a place to lay our roots and start our family. Eventually we found the perfect home in the woods and prepared to move. Luckily we found a home where we could move into at the very beginning of my third trimester. In the meantime I was focused heavily on researching everything baby! We decided we were going to do cloth diapering, breastfeed, and hire a doula. Finding a doula became our focus and after some searching, talking with our birth center, and interviewing a handful of women we landed on our pick and signed the contract with her. With the doula we hired we planned to meet twice before birth and at the meetings we discussed our birth preferences, got to know one another, and talked through the process of birth. Meanwhile I was continuing to work through the online birth course. Part of the course talked about the ways in which one could prepare the body for labor with various teas, herbs, and specific foods. At this stage of pregnancy my husband and I were also very focused on setting expectations for how we wanted to raise our children, run our household, and how we envisioned our birth experience going. These conversations were huge in our preparation for labor and helped me relax and focus on taking care of my body and growing our baby.

The Third Trimester

Time really flies when you’re having fun and I have to admit, I loved being pregnant! Feeling our baby move and feeling so connected was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. We started to notice that our baby loved to hear daddy’s voice, got really excited during worship at church, and hated being stuck in traffic (just like mom). In the beginning of this trimester we moved, thankfully we had a lot of help from our family because I was very pregnant at this point! Moving and settling into our home became the new mission and this jump started the nesting season for me. I designed the nursery and with my husband’s help we got it all set up in preparation for our baby’s arrival. We also started carpooling to work and read Hold On To Your Kids on our drives together. At the same time I was reading The First Forty Days, Hypnobirthing, and Mother Hunger. I continued to go on daily walks and started preparing our home for the season of postpartum.

To prepare for postpartum my best friend came and helped me stock up on household necessities and together we filled our garage freezer with prepared breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and even some treats. This is when everything started to feel so real! I was still practicing daily affirmations, meditating on scripture, and praying over our baby daily. My appointments at the birth center became more frequent as we got closer and closer to birth and I began to feel a mix of emotions. On one hand, I was so excited to meet our baby but on the other hand I almost felt a sense of grief to know that I would never carry this little one within me again. It was almost like I felt separation anxiety without even being separated. The thought of sharing this baby with the world felt big and scary even more so than the thought of actually birthing!

While preparing for birth mentally, I had some big revelations that felt really powerful and I clung to throughout the end of the pregnancy. Overall, I knew that this process of transitioning from maiden to mother was going to break me in ways I couldn’t prepare for. Deciding to go with an unmedicated birth meant that I was about to experience pain that I’d never felt before but had heard from many others was unbearable. Truthfully the constant comments from other women sharing their agonizing pain experiences in birth started to feel very discouraging and eventually I just started to walk away from these conversations all together. Instead, I surrounded myself with positive birth stories, watched free birthing birth videos, and spoke with the women I knew who had experienced labor without medication. This helped me stay positive and even made me excited for the birth experience! By the end of August I felt ready and started my maternity leave, this is when it got real for me.

Our Birth Story

I started my maternity leave before going into labor and had two weeks left before I would “risk” out at the birth center meaning, I had two weeks to go into active labor before my care would be transferred to the hospital. I was feeling optimistic and was feeling pretty regular braxton hicks contractions. The first week on maternity leave my husband and I were focused on soaking up our “lasts” together. We went to a movie, one of our favorite date nights, went out to dinner, went to the MN State Fair, and enjoyed many other “last” dates before baby. Towards the end of this week we started doing the typical “get labor going” practices like curb walking, eating dates (I’d been eating 6 a day for several weeks prior), eating spicy food, massage, etc. There were several days into the next week where I would have waves of contractions and get excited thinking labor was starting and then it would stall and nothing would progress. At the end of the second week, I was getting antsy and nervous that my time was running out for the birth center delivery I had been hoping and praying for.

At this point I was going into the birth center for check ups every couple of days and my midwife recommended that I get a chiropractic adjustment as this can sometimes help jumpstart labor. My baby was low with the head in my pelvis but wasn’t fully engaged and I was barely dilated. I went to the chiropractor the next day and ended up getting acupuncture. While on the table getting the acupuncture treatment I had three deeper contractions and got excited again! I scheduled another appointment for the next day incase I didn’t go into labor that night. In the morning I asked my husband to take the day off and come with me to the treatments and while on the table I had three more bigger contractions. I called my midwife on the way home and we decided that I would start a herbal induction protocol to help get things going. It was early afternoon when I started the protocol and completed two out of the four cycles by 6pm. I called my midwife again and together we decided that since I hadn’t had much rest that day that I should stop for the night, eat a good dinner, and call it an early night. In the morning we planned to start the herbal induction protocol again. But I never got that far.

By 6:30pm I was starting to feel waves of surges moving through me but having had a few “false alarms” earlier in the week I didn’t really think much of it but alerted my doula just in case. After dinner I tried to rest but found that I was unable to get comfortable and needed to feel some movement so I shifted to my birthing ball and focused on gentle movement here. At this point I was hopeful that labor was progressing and went to the bathroom to find that I had lost my mucus plug. I texted our doula and started timing the surges. After about an hour my contractions were between 30-90 seconds and were occurring every 3-5 minutes. We called our doula and she suggested we make our way to the birth center and call the midwife on-call on our way. I went to my husband and told him it was time to go and we quickly packed up the car and started down the road. On the way I called the midwife and she suggested that we go back home and wait for labor to intensify further. Once back home i got into the shower and used the hot water along with worship music, dim lighting, and vocalization to cope with the intensifying surges. By this time it was about 9pm and the water of the shower was no longer helping and I was feeling tired so I got out of the shower and my husband set up a blanket and pillow on the floor of our living room. We dimmed the lights and put on worship music while I closed my eyes and got into the zone. For an hour we labored on the floor and honestly, this was one of the most intimate parts of our labor. My husband was an amazing support during this time and though I wasn’t speaking, he was able to help me cope through the surges with counter pressure, encouragement, and gentle loving support. About an hour later I was starting to feel like I needed to go to the bathroom so we called the midwife who urged us to make our way to the birth center. It was about 11:30pm at this point so we loaded back up into the car and made our way down. Truthfully, this car ride was extremely challenging for me as I was working to cope through the surges without the ability to move. I was also having intense urges to push at this point and was working hard to resist them.

Eventually we made it to the birth center and as I walked through the doors my water partially broke and I had a strong surge right in the doorway. At the end of the surge we moved to our birth room and by the time I got there I was already having another one. I knelt down at the foot of the bed and worked through the surge and started to feel something between my legs. My doula checked, and my water sack was hanging out and with the surges she could see the baby’s head! We moved to the bathtub where I had been hoping to deliver and I worked to get comfortable here. After having resisted the urge to push on the drive in I was finding it challenging to relax into the urge and ended up trying several different positions. Eventually I found my groove again supported between my husband’s legs where I could relax in between the surges. After sometime in this position I was starting to feel exhausted, my midwife and doula were encouraging me to keep going and my husband was able to see our baby’s head during the pushes. At this point I was experiencing the “ring of fire” and was working hard to stick with my breath through the surges. It got to the point where I was feeling such exhaustion in between surges that I wondered if I’d be able to meet the next surge when it came. Our worship music was playing softly in the background and I felt the surge starting to build and I felt myself surrender here, fully knowing that the only way out was through. I pushed and pushed, my doula, midwife and husband were cheering me on and I felt the baby’s head come through and the surge fade away. At this point I remember thinking that if I didn’t fully push the baby out here I was going to have to go through another round of surges and I didn’t think I could so I continued to push and was able to get the shoulders out in another breath. From here we were able to guide the baby to my chest and the wave of relief I felt was unlike anything I could ever describe in words. Our baby was here and we had overcome this together.

Becoming a mother was always my biggest dream and desire in life and to have this become a reality has truly been such a blessing. Throughout the pregnancy all the way through birth, I felt the presence of the Lord which felt incredibly sweet and special. I am forever grateful for my husband and the work he put in to learn how to support me through birth and be the best birth partner I could ask for. Overall our care team was so great and we are so grateful especially for our doula who provided support throughout pregnancy and was there for us through each stage of labor. Now that our baby is here and healthy, we are healing and adjusting to life postpartum. This time will forever be sacred and special for us as we transition from a family of two to now a family of three. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for being here and holding space for me to share this experience with you.